Recently, as I left a coffee meeting with my friend, Kevin, I thought of how grateful I am to have such a friendship, and how randomly it began. <\/span><\/p>\n Five years ago a mutual friend in North Carolina called and told me his friend (Kevin) was moving to my neck of the woods, and asked if I\u2019d help get him connected. I agreed and, as I hung up I thought \u201cHmmm\u2026 I wonder.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Many of the great things that have happened in my life began with me thinking \u201cHmmm, I wonder\u2026\u201d Our friendship of 5 years now is one such thing.<\/span><\/p>\n Studies say that men are not as prone to develop long term friendships as women. I find this sad. I shudder to think what my life would be without my friends. Studies also say that one of the things I would likely miss out on is life itself, in terms of longevity. <\/span>Men die five years younger than women<\/span><\/a> on average, and a big part of that seems to be a result of their reluctance to befriend others.<\/span><\/p>\n But I think there\u2019s an even more important reason to establish and maintain meaningful friendships, and that\u2019s to share the fatherhood journey together.<\/span><\/p>\n When Kevin and I meet for our monthly coffee there\u2019s no agenda, no project, no accountability or anything like that. We talk about many things: our work, books we may be reading, ideas, and often a few dreams and hopes mixed in. We\u2019ve invited each other to be honest about the hard stuff, the vulnerable stuff, and the conversation where that plays out most is with regard to our experience as fathers and husbands. Though we\u2019ve never planned it this way, the conversation almost always turns to our children and wives. <\/span><\/p>\n There are many destructive forces in the world. Our kids struggle. Our marriages struggle. We worry. Friendship offers a way of dulling the edge of difficulty. Our troubles seem less imposing when we know that we are not struggling alone. Our souls long for another who knows.<\/span><\/p>\n We also encourage each other. Kevin is a great dad and husband, but he needs to be reminded of that. We men walk in a world of high expectations, responsibility, and a constant desire to be seen as competent. Inside we know we fall short at times, and we \u201cneed someone to lean on\u201d for encouragement. So lean! Be a friend to be leaned on. It\u2019s worth it. <\/span><\/p>\nFatherhood journey<\/h3>\n
\n
\u201cFriendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: \u2018What! You too? I thought I was the only one\u2026\u201d <\/span><\/i><\/h2>\n
– C.S. Lewis<\/span><\/h2>\n<\/blockquote>\n