I was on vacation, sitting in a rocking chair on the porch of a lodge or restaurant somewhere with my oldest daughter, Nal, in my lap. She was 2 years old or so at the time, and had her head on my chest, awake, relaxed as we soaked in the moment.<\/span><\/p>\n An older man walked by, smiled, and said \u201cEnjoy it, she\u2019ll be 18 next week!\u201d I remember wincing a bit. Today, Nal is 24 and I\u2019m an \u201colder man.\u201d It\u2019s different now, except for the love I felt in that rocker 22 years ago.<\/span><\/p>\n I make a point of smiling and encouraging the parents of toddlers now. Every so often, if one asks for advice, I say \u201cJust love them – the rest is incidental.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n Pressed further, I\u2019d say to hang on, but be prepared to let go. Hang on to them, but be willing to let go of some expectations. At times, what you want for them will be at odds with what they want. Make your case as a man of faith, if you must, then let it go. But don\u2019t let go of your love and prayers for them.<\/span><\/p>\n Another thing I\u2019d say is that there are four words that will stick through all the changes. Best to start saying them now.<\/span><\/p>\n I first learned about these words as part of a team that visits college students around the US to talk about \u201cWhat\u2019s next?\u201d One of the questions we ask (4 words) is \u201cwho first said <\/span>I believe in you<\/span><\/i>?\u201d Sadly, some haven\u2019t heard these words, or some variation of them. Those who have heard them, especially from someone they believe in, don\u2019t forget.<\/span><\/p>\n Pressed even further, I\u2019d share the last, and perhaps the hardest advice of all…<\/span><\/p>\n Carl Jung said, \u201cNothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their children than the unlived life of the parent.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n